Monday, July 5, 2010

Day one

Well here it is...I've decided to start a blog for a number of reasons.

1 - cheaper than going to see a therapist
2 - less calories than Godiva
3 - did I mention therapy?

So why a blog, really? Maybe I'm looking to share some thoughts in order to help myself better understand my life, maybe I'm hoping someone will read this and learn from my mistakes...whatever works as long as it works for someone!

The thought of today is men. I just realized after almost a year with my man that I am his rebound. How did I come to this? As soon as he said, "you know, I'm totally over my ex" he withdrew. There is much more to it, no need to get in to the ugly nitty-gritty. But I think what's worse than learning this is that I was also his social rebound. He's become friends with a number of people who live in his building and now...he doesn't even seem to appreciate my friendship. Yes, two crushing blows in a single moment.

Now, talking with him about this is like the ultimate sin but I'm happy to say after an hour on the internet, looking for inspirational words regarding this, I managed to figure it out myself. Yeah for me! So now bodes the question - what the hell am I supposed to do?

Scenario #1 - remain friends
hmmm...can this even be done? Well, first rule is to stop having sex. Second...do I need a friend like this?

Scenario #2 - cut him off completely
wow, that would be hard...we share some financial ties. Will have to think about this and give #1 a second look

Scenario #3 - use him back
Not sure I'm the "love'em and leave'em" kinda gal. Casual sex was never my thing and the "friends with benefits" thing always ends in disaster. Gees, just watch The Hills and you'll see.

Scenario #4 - talk with him and tell him how I feel
Has anyone every tried this with success? Seems every time I try to discuss "feelings" we end up in a fight of some sort. No, don't think we'll be going down this road.

So, as I look at the choices, it seems like Scenario #1 and #2 will have to be the way to go. If anyone is reading this, please, share your thoughts. Then, the next question comes to mind - do I let him know what I'm doing, i.e., cutting him off and/or moving our relationship to the "friend" or potentially "trash" category. Nope, this one I think I know...I'll just keep this all to myself. If he's paying attention, he'll figure it out. After all, I don't recall him telling me that he needs me to get over his ex and to regain his desire to be social.

I promise, this blog will not be just about men. As the title suggests, I'm divorced, raising a young boy and I am in my early 40's. I'd like this to be more about the day-to-day, the ups-and-downs, and the occasional words of wisdom obtained from Snapple caps.

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